May 2013
9 posts
3 tags
inanetitter:
In a bar bathroom looking at Tumblr because I don’t respect myself/others.
also playing me in words with friends. luvu.
April 2013
16 posts
We were advised that Mr. Simons was found in the...
Disappeared, yall
Step 298: Do not look at your phone while human...
adulting:
Cardiac surgeons who are on-call, you may ignore this step. Everyone else:
When you interrupt a conversation by pulling out and typing on your phone, it implies “Whatever this Facebook friend/Tumblr person/Twotter follower [typo but it feels accurate and therefore stays] has to say is more important than whatever you were trying to express, so I’mma go ahead and take this.”
If you...
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Step 295: Print this out for your laundry room
adulting:
EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE
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Used LinkedIn for professional purposes for the...
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March 2013
15 posts
1 tag
2 tags
: The Business: Kurt Braunholer & Brendon Walsh... →
thebusinessla:
We don’t have the ability to concentrate and think of a punny title for this week’s show because we’re just so damn excited about this mega-lineup! BRENDON WALSH KURT BRAUNHOLER MATT KNUDSEN ELIZA SKINNER JAKE WEISMAN PLUS regulars CHRIS GARCIA SEAN O’CONNOR BETH STELLING CHRIS THAYER AND A…
I’m jealous of everyone who isn’t babysitting on Thursday night.
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February 2013
19 posts
1 tag
Hallie: Did you walk here?
Me: Yeah, my car is on E right now and I just didn't want to get gas on the way.
Hallie: IT'S ON E?
Hallie: Oh, you mean Empty!
Hallie: Not Ecstasy.
I had just watched a really stressful episode of West Wing.
Step 277: Do not expect kudos for being decent
adulting:
Let’s say you are a non-racist, thoughtful-to-LGBTQA folks, non-sexist, bill-paying-on-time, recycling-sorting, never-kicks-puppies kind of person:
To you I say, and mean it, congratulations. That is awesome. Take a second and feel nice about yourself.
All done? Good. Because those are not things that make you worthy of praise. That shit is standard. Do not expect others to pat you...
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